Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The Tortillas That Wouldn't Die

I have purchased a package of magic tortillas. They are endless. No matter how many I eat, the package is still half full. It is the never-ending-bag. I'm stumped.

In an inspired bit of grocery shopping two weeks ago, I bought one of those packages of corn tortillas in the Mexican food aisle at Marsh. The stack was about 3 inches high, maybe more. Corn tortillas are my favorites. They have great texture, they're a little smaller, they never get gummy, although they do get dry. I can usually go through a package in a week or so no problem. Apparently the package was bigger than I thought (although I vote for magic). I have been eating these damned tortillas for two weeks. (Aha, they are the tortillas of the damned, now that's an idea!)

Last week, I made a conscious decision that it was time to get rid of them. Just eat them up. No problem. This shouldn't be hard. I had a couple as snack before dinner on two evenings (put a couple on a plate with a damp paper towel, microwave just for a second, spread with butter and sprinkle with salt, roll, and eat. ) Then I moved on to just eating them randomly with whatever I had. Friday night I made bacon and eggs and rolled them up in a couple of tortillas. Package was still at half full.

Sunday, I made guacamole. This is perfect, I thought. Those tortillas are finished for sure. No luck. I had guac with soft tortillas, then I took out a stack -- a *stack* mind you -- and quartered and fried them for chips. The guacamole is long gone but those tortillas remain. The package just sits there in the refrigerator with it's little red wire tie looking at me -- still with an inch-tall stack of tortillas in it. When it's on the counter, it watches me as I walk around the kitchen. They are El Diablo tortillas!

Now, I'm no stranger to throwing things out when I just know I'm not going to finish them, but with these tortillas, it's become personal. This is now a vendetta for me. I will finish them. I must. My pantry is now stocked with black beans, refritos and the fridge holds cheddar cheese, sour cream and lettuce. I swear, I will finish these tortillas if it's the last thing I do!

So, if you see a preponderance of tortilla laden dishes coming out of my kitchen in the next couple of weeks, you'll know why. Hey, I have to make samosas for a party on Saturday. I wonder if there's a way I can use those tortillas?


Erudite Redneck said...

This is great! :-)

SB said...

Please keep us updated.

There may be a novel in this.

A trilogy, perhaps.

Dave Taylor said...

Isn't this just Xeno's Mexican Food Paradox, ultimately? Y'know, you eat half the bag of tortillas, then half of what's left, then half again, and so on, but you never finish the bag...