The First Horseman Cometh: Rachel Ray in Indy

Somebody better remind me what color horse the first horseman rides because I'm pretty sure this is a sign of the impending apocalypse: Short order cook Rachel Ray has been named the parade marshall for this year's 500 Festival Parade in Indianapolis. What better person to wave to her fans in middle America than the Food Network's queen of short cut family meals. I know I'm being a food snob here, but come *on*. Rachel Ray? Now Alton Brown I could have understood.

At least they've countered-balanced her with a real class act. Lance Armstrong will be in the parade and drive the pace car. The cool people always get to drive the pace car. Go, Lance!